Genuine wargamer?

** This is an updated version of this article and includes an expanded list based on Phil's Pt 2 Post **

To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following:

* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 you've spent

Yes… so much more than £500 over the years that I don’t really want to think about it too much. Lets called it 3 pts worth (As I’ve sold well over £1k’s worth of stuff, and have a lot more to go)

3/1

* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times
Assuming that Mexican lancers are a suitable substitute, then yes. I’ve seldom handled them without drawing blood..! 1pt

4/2

* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again
I’ve bought/read that many, easily that many, but I don’t tend to play many of them. Most I flick through and decide they aren’t really what I’m after. As I’ve never actually *tried* them, I’m guessing this doesn’t count… 0pts

4/3

* Bought an army off EBay
All depends on the definition of ‘army’ and if it happens to be all at once? I bought my Boxer skirmish force as one ‘lot’ (50 odd figures) and that was my ‘rebel’ army for Boxer Rebellion games; and certainly most of my armies have been bought via eBay although usually in a piecemeal fashion… I’ll give this 1/2pt

4.5/4

* Sold an army on EBay
Yes – again piecemeal rather than as a single job lot, and most of my clearing out has been via forum sales pages and the Lincombe Barn TTS. Probably another ½pt

5/5

* Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once
Yes – infact, it’s very much the case that most of my ‘armies’ only ever see a game or two in their entire lives. The main exceptions to this rule were my VSF forces, most of which saw a good 5-10 games, and some of my near future gangs (hardly armies though) which saw about the same. 1 pt here.
6/6

* Tried several different periods and genres
Yes – Dark Ages, Moderns (including Vietnam), Sci-Fi/Post-Apocalypse, Pulp, Colonial, Old West, Fantasy… I think that’s most of them, the rest have been variations on a theme. Scales I’ve tried 20mm, 28mm & 36mm. Most games have been ‘skirmish’ size though.
7/7

* Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height
Luckily no – knocked a few boxes over from lesser heights, and had a display case shelf fall ontop of another shelf full of painted figures (mainly dervishes, who were waving their weapons above their heads before the accident…). Even had a carry case come open when I picked one up once! 0pts

7/8

* Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice
No – I’ve had many games which have been close until the last turn or two, but I’ve never lost one on the very last roll. 0pts
7/9

* Made at least one enemy for life
No 0pts
7/10

* Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table
No – I play for the fun of it, and tend to pick opponents who do likewise. Not much arguing goes on, usually because I cant be bothered. 0pts
7/11

* Thrown a dice across a room
Yes – to get a noisy group of RPGers to shut up a bit whilst at the UBU Gamesoc. 1pt

8/12

* rebased an army for a different rule set
Yeesss…. Well…. No. Well, kind of. I reased the vast majority of my collection from GW plastic bases to penny washers, but it wasn’t for a rules set. It was for a ‘Damn me if I’m paying that much for a plastic base!’ followed by a ‘Now all the figures on washers look too short…” moment. ½ pt
8.5/13

*Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
Cant honestly remember any tremendously whopping defeats, although I can think of some which were pretty good.0pts
8.5/14

* Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
Um… I can’t think of one. I’ve suffered many embarrassing defeats, and whilst my tactics have been a bit dicey on occasion, I think most of them have been due to the fact that the dice gods hate me. 0pts
8.5/15

* Joined a wargamers club
Yes (the UBU Gamesoc being the first), and I was president of it for a year. 1pt
9.5/16

* Bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted
Yes – sold quite a bit of the backlog off, but still have a lot unpainted. 1pt
10.5/17

* Been to a wargamers show
Yes, and had a trade stand at several. 1pt
11.5/18

* Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them
Yup – I have masses, stashed in an old Warzone box (mostly). Trying different types of rules set, and having dabbled with RPGs, means I have dice of all sorts of shapes and sizes… And I usually bought more than I needed at any given time ‘just incase’. Incase of what, I’m still not sure! 1pt
12.5/19

* Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
Yes and no. I’ve never taken them to a club, but I do regularly post pictures of my latest work on forums and blogs, so I guess that’s worth a ½ pt.
13/19

And now some extra questions....

* You have reference books on each period / army you play

Yes, and quite a few still for armies/genre’s I’ve since sold. 1pt
14/20

* Having played so many different games you confidently quote rules for a totally different period, scale or ruleset to the one you're playing at that moment
Yes, I did once in a GASLIGHT game quot a rule from something else – 1pt
15/21

* You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby
I often don’t show her everything that comes in the door, but I’ve never actually lied. 0pts
15/22

* You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the post
Yes, very much so! 1pt
16/23

* You have joined a re-enactment society (5 points for this one!)
Yes – Oskorei (http://www.oskorei.co.uk/)
21/28

* You have played in an unsuitable venue 
Yes – I have played wargames (Full thrust IIRC) on a table in the corner of the Students Union bar on a Saturday night… 1pt
22/29

* You continue to search for the perfect Napoleonic / WW2 / Ancients / ACW etc. rule set (knowing that it doesn't actually exist).
Yes, although in this case it’s Moderns. 1pt
23/30

* For that reason you have developed your own house rules for certain periods.  And think them far superior to the original author's efforts.
Yes, although I have since found a better set (Force on Force) 1pt
24/31

* You have returned from a wargames show and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No… But I have tried to minimise what I’ve bought by ‘condensing’ the contents of blister packs and the like… opts
24/32

* You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look.
No. There are several periods that I don’t think look very fun (perhaps irrationally), but if I found them to be entertaining or they appealed to me, then I would play them. Opts
24/33

* You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yes – although it’s not a job I enjoy very much 1pt
25/34

* You have reached a painting 'wall' 
Yes, on many, many occasions. Usually whilst painting uniforms or webbing. Or horses, I hate painting horses.  1pt
26/35

* You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.
Not really. I’ve lost interest in lots of periods for no particular reason, but never in wargaming 0pts
26/36

* You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have £200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.
Yes…. 1pt
27/37

* You have done armies in different scales for the same period 
Yes – Modern (cold war) in 28mm & 20mm, also post apocalypse… In my defence, some of the 28mm figures will be going to the sales pile at some stage… well… maybe the unpainted ones… maybe the unpainted ones I don’t like…. 1pt
28/38
 
* You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
Yup 1pt
29/39

* You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job 
Yup 1pt
30/40
* You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge. 
Probably, I cant remember any examples off hand, but probably ½ pt
30.5/41

* You have contradicted someone else’s trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Yes 1pt
31.5/42

* You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor). 
Nothing very major, luckily! Opts
31.5/43

* You have cheered when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point (I have literally danced in front of someone when he failed a morale roll) 
Yes 1pt
32.5/44

* You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her.  I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".
Nope 0pts
32.5/45

* You have lied to an attractive woman (man) about your hobby.  
No, although I tended not to mention it on purpose! 0pts
32.5/46

* You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
No 0pts
32.5/47

* You have painted the same army in the same scale more than once (Monty, you dawg!)  
Yes, atleast I will be once a parcel arrives – Sold/re-purposed my original Brittania Malayan Emergency stuff, and I’ve just bought a load more to use for… you’ve guessed it… the Malayan Emergancy… 1pt
33.5/48

* You have reference books on armies you haven't even got.
Yes – both for armies I’ve had but have since sold, and for things I have never had but find generally interesting (and potentially alluring…!) 1pt
34.5/49

* You have bought figures for a period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap.
Yes – lots of stuff has been bought because it was ‘cheap’ and I’ve since realised that it’ll never get painted or used.1pt
35.5/50

* You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down. 
No
35.5/51

* You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
Yes…. 1pt
36.5/52

* Your book collection is almost all war and wargames related
Yes – although, given that I also played Sci-fi. Post-apocalypse and Fantasy there are a fair few of them scattered around too. But they are mainly game related. 1pt
37.5/53

* You critique 'war' movies (especially Hollywood war movies) for historical accuracy.
Yes, pretty much every time I turn on the TV 1pt
38.5/54

* You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
Yes 1pt

39.5/55 = 72%